Monday, September 10, 2007

Sometimes I feel blue...

And yesterday was one of those days. I think it was a combination of things for me. We spent the weekend in Salt Lake and watching sweet Mandy and her mommy made me sad. For those who don't know Mandy is expecting in January and they talked about baby things and Mom is making her a baby blanket and it just got me to thinking. I guess it was a bit of a selfish thought, but I want my Mommy back. I hate knowing that my children won't get to know her or be spoiled by her, and that if I have questions I can't just pick up the phone and talk to her. And I know she was in a broken body and that she is so much better off were she is, but I sure do miss her sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I'm unbelievably grateful for what I do have. I have a wonderful family and beautiful children, but a girl needs her Mom sometimes and I don't like not having that.
But as the day wore on I thought more about it and it makes me truly grateful for the Atonement. How could anyone every doubt that Heavenly Father loves us and wants whats best for us. He's made it possible for me to be with my Mom again, and not only that, but she will be my Mom. Not just my sister in the Gospel. It's so good to know that when we are together again she'll still have that relationship with me. What an awesome blessing! Without that knowledge I'm sure my blue days would come much more often. And another sign of his love, look at all he's given me to get through my blue days. I have my wonderful family here, but I also have a Dad who has been incredible and always makes me feel better. In fact, when I'm sad he's the first one I'm prone to call. Thank you Dad. You've been a great support to be and I really appreciate your faith and love. And then there's the temple. We went this weekend and somehow it makes me feel that much closer to her. And then there my sweet children who always give me hugs when I'm down. Sweet Trace will say "it's okay Mommy, I still love you!" What a kid.
So I guess in short what I want to say is that even though we are all prone to sad days, NEVER forget how much Father really does love us. He's given us all this and more, and all we have to do is ask and he'll take that pain away. I love you all and can't wait until we can be together again! Until then, cherish the little things and be grateful for all you have.

2 comments:

Zackira's said...

I think that the blue days are the worst. I wish that I had you here to talk to me about them and I could do the same for you. I hate that you are so far away, it makes it very difficult to take all our cares away with Taco Bell. ;) I love you and I miss you.

Aunt Marianne said...

Sweet Annie! I found the little note with your blogspot address today & decided to visit it. I love how you are documenting your family's days. This day, "Sometimes I feel blue..." made me so sad. I miss your Mommy too! When I got Diana's bridal pictures I knew how much Sharon would have loved seeing them. We were always sharing things like that online.

If you ever feel the need to call her PLEASE call me! I know I could never replace her but I would do my best to comfort or give advice. I have been a mommy for 27 years now! I would do anything to let my sister know that I am doing my best to help her Annie along. I love you!