Friday, May 29, 2009

I miss her!

Last night at midnight, while sitting on the couch with a baby who would not be soothed, I realized how much I miss my Mom. She was the person I called on mornings like this when my eyes are puffy from tears and my head hurts from lack of sleep, and I'm all around exhausted. She was the one who understood what it was like be a mother of 4 young children. As much as I love them, my sweet husband and Dad just are not the same.
I know this is a bit on the rambling side, but it just hits me now and again just how much I am missing without her. She was the one woman in my life who always put me first because I was HERS. There was no one else to come before me (except dad of course!) because I was her daughter, and she was my best friend. I could talk to her about anything and everything and she always had great words of wisdom to impart.
And so it is mornings like this that remind me how much I miss her. She would have offered a big hug and a promise that it would all get better. I know it will, I just wish I could hear her voice say it to me. So for anyone out there who still has their mommy, never take for granted what she means to you. Don't take her for granted. Pick up the phone, call her, give her a hug, and let her know just how much she means to you because she needs to hear it.


JennMatt said...

Dearest Annie! I love and miss you so much. I am sorry to hear how much you miss your mom. She was such a sweet woman. I will always remember how she treated me like her own for the time I stayed there. My heart goes out to you. I wish I were closer so I could take your kids while you took a nap:)

Marianne said...

Annie, I love you! I am so sorry. I have often thought how unfair it was for you to lose your Mom after such a sort time in your life. I still have mine and I do take it for a given to often! You know you can call me anytime and I will listen and sympathize. I know it's not the same but I'm close! Please call me if you need to.

You are so right about not wasting the time we have with our loved ones. I so often wish I could have a "do over" and call my big sister more often than I did. I want to tell her how important she was to me and how much I love her. Somehow I think she knows, but I want to tell her anyway!

JAY- JEWEL -DAD said...

Annie I wish that I had some Mighty words of wisdom to give to you at moments like this but I don't.
I too have times that I look around this empty home and feel very alone. At times I feel that I could reach out and touch her but I can olny do that in my mind. I thank my Father in Heaven every day for the time that we spent together.
I know that she has not changed in any way. She is simply out of our calling area for a time.
I find myself wondering if this a dream that I will soon awake from or is it real? I have found a lovly lady whom I love, Along with Mom. I know she will never take the place of MOM nor would I want her to. She can not be your mother but you can love her and she will love you as she loves me. I know that she loves me and she will love you.
Not much help but maybe if we pray for her each day and thank our Father in Heaven for the time we have with her we can feel a little closer to her. LOVE DAD

JAY- JEWEL -DAD said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JAY- JEWEL -DAD said...

in The last litle bit her = Mom

Jalyn said...

Sweet Annie,

I miss her too. I thought I would have someone to guide me through the "how to be a grandma" lessons. Her shinning example was to all ages and all stages in our lives. I guess we will do what she asked us to do, and that is to "take care of eachother" I hope that one day you will feel like you can call me in a pinch and know that I want to help. I love you so much! Jalyn

bunchocoffeys said...

Annie, I felt so sad when I read this yesterday (right before I headed out the door to my surgery), I know how close you were to your mom and I admire that. I know she's watching you do an amazing job with your family and would truly be proud of the many wonderful choices you've made-wonderful lessons learned from her. Love you!

Helen Ellsworth said...

Dear Annie; I wish I had checked your Blog sooner. I am so sorry I wasn't there to put my arms around you. I know it wouldn't be the same but maybe it would help. She was my sweet daughter, the one who bounced through my life the years I was alone without Grampa during the Second world war. I wish you kids could have known her. She was so pretty with her beautiful blonde hair. Always a smile on her face and ready to cheer anyone up just by being there. Grampas sisters still talk about what a joy it was when I would take her to visit Mom and Dad Ellsworth. I would open the back door and she would beat me in and run to them laughing and showing how happy she was to be there. She could bring the spirit of joy into the gloomiest room. I think I can relate to your feelings a lot because I have felt the same way so many times when I think of her and Grampa and how empty my life is without them. That is not to say all the rest of you don't bring me happiness, it is just that each one is missed if they are not there. Please call me if you can or want too. Maybe talking with someone who misses her because she was my child, who loved her too. Who would give a fortune to have her back, would help. I will be thinking of you and praying for you. I lover you with all my heart. God bless you and help you to work your way through those times when it becomes so hard. Grandma

Piper said...

Annie, Last night I was goin through a box of pictures. I found one of you and your mother that I had taken when we went down to your brothers wedding reception. She was so very swet to me. I still have and love the blanket she gave to me. Just let her love and light live and shine in you!